My parents are still married to
each other, and I love them both, but I have always been a Daddy’s Girl. We have
many of the same interests, and I have always enjoyed his company and doing
things with him. As long as I can remember, my brother and I were with him
doing whatever it was he was doing. It usually involved work! He made it fun,
and he always made it a lesson. My brother’s lifelong best friend came by for a
visit last week, and he was complimenting my brother and dad on how much my dad
taught my brother. My brother died at 29, but he had carpentry, plumbing, electrical,
and mechanical skills, just to name a few. He learned those skills by watching
my dad and being taught by him. I was usually around, too, but I was holding
the light or the “dumb end” of the tape, lol.
We didn’t always work, though. Once
we finished the necessary tasks, we usually practiced whatever sport was in
season, fished, or target practiced. We were always learning and doing
something fun. If we needed extra money as kids, my dad would help us find car
washing or grass cutting jobs in the neighborhood. He would help us and show us
how to do things the right way.
I have always treasured all of that
time spent with us, but even more so this year, in my year of firsts. I got married
in college, and 16 years later, peacefully divorced last Fall. As I was working
in the yard yesterday, I reflected on how thankful I am that my dad taught me,
especially as a female, how to be self sufficient. I aired the tires in the
mower, fueled the two cycle engines of the weed-eater, edger, and blower, and
even changed the edger blade. A few weeks ago, I got the lawn mower stuck in a
low-lying area and had to pull it out by myself with a truck. None of those are
complicated tasks, but I have female friends (and probably some males) who are
unable to do those things because they haven’t been taught. I am not an expert
by any stretch, but being able to complete many tasks myself saves me money
that I would otherwise not be able to afford to hire someone else to do. I may
not be able to make all of the necessary repairs, but he taught me how to troubleshoot,
read the gauges on my dash, etc. Since I’ve been by myself, he has shown me how
to the replace the “thing” in the back of the toilet that makes it run, how to
use a socket set, and lots of other things.
It's not just the things he’s shown
me how to do, either. He and my mom do a lot to help me. I live next door to
them, and I have multiple pets. I have about an hour long commute one way. They
take my dogs out and feed them every day. I am not scared to stay by myself,
but I remember the first night my ex-husband moved out. It still got dark
early, so when I got home from work that evening, my dad had turned my porch
light on for me. It was a tiny thing he did, but it let me know that everything
was going to be alright. I have been stood up for more dates than not, but my
dad always comes in clutch. I know that I can always depend on him.
Dads, teach your girls to be
self-sufficient so they don’t have to depend on a man. Sure, I still depend on my
dad and other men in my life, but I am thankful for the things I can do by myself.
Teach them how to use basic tools, drive a stick shift, check and air their tires,
wash their cars, cut their grass, shoot and handle guns, etc. With independence
comes confidence. That confidence has been a huge help to me these last few
months.
Most importantly, the best way to teach
them is by giving them your time. In addition to being very loving, my dad (and
mom) spent as much time with us as they could. That is priceless to me.
