Dads, Teach Your Daughters to be Self-Sufficient!

 

Yesterday as I was working in my yard, I thought of a lot of things quickly. It started with my yard and how much I enjoy it and working in it, and that led me to think of how my dad taught me how to do it, and that his birthday and Father’s Day are next week. Those thoughts continued to develop, as this is a year of firsts for me. Dads of daughters, listen up!

My parents are still married to each other, and I love them both, but I have always been a Daddy’s Girl. We have many of the same interests, and I have always enjoyed his company and doing things with him. As long as I can remember, my brother and I were with him doing whatever it was he was doing. It usually involved work! He made it fun, and he always made it a lesson. My brother’s lifelong best friend came by for a visit last week, and he was complimenting my brother and dad on how much my dad taught my brother. My brother died at 29, but he had carpentry, plumbing, electrical, and mechanical skills, just to name a few. He learned those skills by watching my dad and being taught by him. I was usually around, too, but I was holding the light or the “dumb end” of the tape, lol.

We didn’t always work, though. Once we finished the necessary tasks, we usually practiced whatever sport was in season, fished, or target practiced. We were always learning and doing something fun. If we needed extra money as kids, my dad would help us find car washing or grass cutting jobs in the neighborhood. He would help us and show us how to do things the right way.

I have always treasured all of that time spent with us, but even more so this year, in my year of firsts. I got married in college, and 16 years later, peacefully divorced last Fall. As I was working in the yard yesterday, I reflected on how thankful I am that my dad taught me, especially as a female, how to be self sufficient. I aired the tires in the mower, fueled the two cycle engines of the weed-eater, edger, and blower, and even changed the edger blade. A few weeks ago, I got the lawn mower stuck in a low-lying area and had to pull it out by myself with a truck. None of those are complicated tasks, but I have female friends (and probably some males) who are unable to do those things because they haven’t been taught. I am not an expert by any stretch, but being able to complete many tasks myself saves me money that I would otherwise not be able to afford to hire someone else to do. I may not be able to make all of the necessary repairs, but he taught me how to troubleshoot, read the gauges on my dash, etc. Since I’ve been by myself, he has shown me how to the replace the “thing” in the back of the toilet that makes it run, how to use a socket set, and lots of other things.

It's not just the things he’s shown me how to do, either. He and my mom do a lot to help me. I live next door to them, and I have multiple pets. I have about an hour long commute one way. They take my dogs out and feed them every day. I am not scared to stay by myself, but I remember the first night my ex-husband moved out. It still got dark early, so when I got home from work that evening, my dad had turned my porch light on for me. It was a tiny thing he did, but it let me know that everything was going to be alright. I have been stood up for more dates than not, but my dad always comes in clutch. I know that I can always depend on him.

Dads, teach your girls to be self-sufficient so they don’t have to depend on a man. Sure, I still depend on my dad and other men in my life, but I am thankful for the things I can do by myself. Teach them how to use basic tools, drive a stick shift, check and air their tires, wash their cars, cut their grass, shoot and handle guns, etc. With independence comes confidence. That confidence has been a huge help to me these last few months.

Most importantly, the best way to teach them is by giving them your time. In addition to being very loving, my dad (and mom) spent as much time with us as they could. That is priceless to me.

Gentleman Jack

 The best tangible gift I’ve ever received was a red dachshund puppy named Jack. My then husband, Jason, gave him to me for my college graduation. Our families and close friends were invited to graduation, then to a party at our house. I was looking forward to taking pictures with my family after graduation, but the crowd around their seats was a bit hostile. Everyone but my dad left after I walked. I fussed all the way home because I wanted pictures with them. I didn’t fuss long, though, because Jason actually left early to pick up the puppy so he could present him to me when we arrived. I thought he belonged to my brother’s girlfriend, but Jason said he was mine. I cried! And thus began our adventure with Jack.

The day I got Jack

The first weekend I had Jack, we were camping at the river.

Jack was a wonderful, well-mannered boy, which is not necessarily common for dachshunds. He was very sweet and friendly to everyone, especially his cougar girlfriends. Imogene was always his main squeeze, though. He visited her periodically and sent her cards, and she mailed cards and gifts to him as well.

A year later, we decided that Jack needed someone to keep him company during the day, so we got Bruiser. Bruiser (Bee) is a black dappled dachshund. He and Jack had one common parent. We bought them from the same breeder, which was prior to our becoming educated about the importance of adopting animals. Jack and Bee were fast friends. It took Bee a few months to catch up to Jack in terms of size, but they were inseparable. We referred to them as “the boys,” and after getting the much larger Trooper, we called them “the little boys.”

MMOR parade

The day we got Bee

In Mobile where we lived at the time, we had a fenced in yard where we would play with them. We took them for walks, and I dressed them in shirts, bandannas, and bowties. For a few consecutive years, we participated in the Mystic Mutts of Revelry parade in Fairhope, AL, which is a fundraiser for a local shelter. We were always doing something fun.

Delivering Christmas goodies to the neighbors

I was a teacher at the time, and one of my students was reading a newspaper aloud one day. The article was about an abused dog. Even though Jack and Bee weren’t rescues, I thought about the wonderful life they had and have only known love. This prompted me to do all I can do to be the voice for animals in need. As a result, the Voice for the Animals Campaign began. We host fundraisers and raise awareness for needy animals. I credit Jack and Bee and the others who helped then and throughout the years.

In 2009, Jason moved to Orlando for work. The boys and I stayed in Mobile for nearly a year to tie up loose ends. They kept me company. They made many trips to and from Orlando with me. We moved back to Fulton, and Jason moved to Bossier City, LA, a few years later. Again, they kept me company. Jason was living in Bossier City when my brother died tragically in a car accident. When I got home from the hospital that night, and from then on out, Jack, Bee, and the other animals provided me with love, comfort, company, and companionship.

Daddy's boy

Jack loved us and we loved him, but he was a Daddy’s boy. He and Jason sat in the chair and watched tv. I cannot sit still, so I am always up doing something. I think I moved around too much for him. Jack loved toys, socks, playing, going for walks, taking naps, and eating cat poop. He also loved Bee.

Although he has been getting older and whiter, he has been doing well. He is slower and can’t hear as well, but he has been well. He has never liked getting out of the bed. I say that he reminds me of my brother in that regard. When I got up to go to the gym this morning, I knew that Jack needed some encouragement in getting up. When I pulled back the covers and touched him, I knew that he was gone. I am still in shock. He has been fine, as I said, so it has come as a shock. I’m not 100% at 4am, so I moved him, handled the other animals, and went to the gym. Jason and I are no longer married, but we get along. I drove to Jason’s office this morning to tell him in person. We cried, laughed, and reminisced about Jack. My dad and I have plans to make a nice grave for him next to Pearl and Buck later today.

Trooper, Pearl, Jack, Bee

I think they look like a heart

Someone saw Jack a few months ago and asked about his age. They also asked how long I was going to keep him. I was appalled because pets are for life. It has never crossed my mind to “get rid of” them for any reason. They have been there with me through the hardest times of my life, and also some of the best. Pets are for life.

The last couple of photos I took of Jack

Life without Jack will be an adjustment for me and for Bee. I know that Bee will grieve. Bee has been with Jack his whole life. They do everything together, including share a crate when I’m gone. I will be there for him just as he was for me when my brother died. We will be sad, too, but the joy that Jack brought us by far trumps the sadness that comes with his passing. He was 16, and I had him almost 16 years to the date.

My Brother, Jared

 

27th birthday cake, probably Mama's red velvet

On this day 37 years ago, my little brother, Jared, was born. I was 3.5. I don’t know if I remember it, or if I just remember seeing pictures from that day. I’ve read that siblings are your first friends and the ones with which you spend the most time. That was true in our case. We grew up in a wonderful neighborhood and across the street from our paternal grandmother and great-grandmother. We spent summers there and went there after school until our parents were home from work. We probably put a million miles a piece on our bikes, and even more on our Hot Wheels collections. We watched TV, played dominos with our grandmothers and their friends, played with Legos, our dogs, video games, in the log yard, sports, you name it.

Jared as a child

 We had an especially good time when I got my license because I drove us to and from school. We listened to our favorite CDs and had deep talks. When I moved away to college, Jared said the only thing he didn’t miss about me was my long hair being everywhere. Later when I was married, my then husband (Jason) said he could relate to that! We always had a good time at our parents’ when I came home to visit.

Jared and me at Talladega, 2003

 In 2009, we moved back to Fulton and into my late grandmother’s house two doors down from our parents. This was definitely a God-send, as it allowed me to spend Jared’s last years with him. He worked shift work, so he spent a lot of time at my house and at my parents’ house when he was off. We would eat breakfast there on the weekends, help each other with yard work, watch TV, cook/eat, etc. It was nothing for me to get home from school to see that my lawn had been manicured, or to be cutting my grass and see Jared on his lawn mower behind me. I was a teacher at the time, and he would text me on the first day of school every year to wish me a good day and year. He could imitate a dove. He would park in his spot at our parents’ and make the sound. This was not the pleasant cooing sound, but the sick crow sound, lol. When I heard it, I never knew if it was him or an actual bird. Now, I feel his presence when I hear the doves make that sound.

Jared and his lifelong friend, Ben

Jared was an avid outdoorsman. He loved hunting doves, deer, ducks, and turkeys. I believe his favorite was bass fishing, though, in addition to just being on the river and sometimes "communicating" with catfish, I've heard. They say that scent is the strongest sense tied to memory. Every time I get a whiff of a bream bed, I immediately think of him and our family fishing at the pond in Fulton or on the river, as we did so many times. A student of mine once saw his picture on  my desk and recognized him as "the man who brought snuff and fish" to his grandmother in the apartment complex where Jared worked part time as the maintenance man. We learned that Jared would catch and clean fish for some of the elderly ladies who lived there. That makes me proud. 

Jared's wedding

Jason moved to Louisiana to work, so Jared spent even more time with me. We really had some deep conversations then. We often discussed traits that we inherited from each parent, our similarities and differences, and common traits we shared, but didn’t get from either parent. He also told me who to contact for certain things if anything ever happened to him. Although Jared was smart, successful, and responsible, he was also reckless. My biggest fear was that he would die in a car accident.

 On October 20, 2014, two days before my birthday, Jared died in a single vehicle crash. It wasn’t intentional, but I think he knew he would die young. A series of his friends called me and, after paying their respects, said “Jared told me if anything ever happened to him to call you and say x.” That was interesting to me. Some of his best friends were acquaintances of mine, but they really stepped up to be there for me, and I now consider them among my best of friends as well.

Jared's class has been amazing to us. They purchased this brick at school.

 Within minutes of “coming to” after hearing the news, I immediately realized that life is too short. That is how Jared lived. He didn’t care what people thought, he wasn’t fake, he had fun, he did nice things for people, he didn’t sweat the small stuff, and he made sure his family and friends knew he loved them. In addition to changing from the grief, seeing that life is too short has changed me. Life is too short to not be happy. Not only did I realize this, but I live it. I have moved from education to the car business, which I love, gotten a divorce, and stopped going to traditional church. I attend monthly Bible studies with likeminded individuals and an amazing leader and friend. I didn’t know it until a few years ago, but my mom says I’m “different.” I now embrace that knowingly.

 I have learned so much from Jared after his death, and I want to be like him. I want to be the loyal friend he was. I want to help people like he did with no recognition. He had done tremendous things for people, but we were unaware until they told us after his passing. I want to be a person who lives like there is no tomorrow, who doesn’t care what people think. It has been my experience that no longer caring what people think is not a decision, but a place where you arrive mentally. I have arrived, it is so freeing. He would also say that people are going to talk about you regardless, so don’t worry about them and do what makes you happy.

Some of my favorite photos of him

 I am so proud to say that I am Jared Daniels’s sister. Until I die, I will do whatever it takes to preserve his legacy. I will strive to be the kind of friend he was. I will let his friends who are now mine know how much they mean to me and are loved and appreciated. Those shoes will never be filled, but I will do my best to make my brother as proud as he makes me.

Buck, Our First Foster (fail)

 

Buck & Lilly, his favorite little girl 

During the summer of 2010, our home was being remodeled. We came home every evening excited to see the progress the construction crew had made. One of those days brought a big surprise in the form of a half-grown hound dog puppy! This was just a few years in to the establishment of our non-profit group, the Voice for the Animals Campaign, & years prior to the opening of the Clarke County Animal Shelter. At this time, our family consisted of two humans, Jack, Bee, & Pearl. I had been capped in terms of adding more animals to the pack. There was a rescue in the county at the time, so I reached out to them for help & guidance. The lady & I worked out a foster deal with this puppy, who we named Buck, because he looked like a hunting dog, although I don’t hunt. 

Buck at the vet in his younger days

When you foster an animal, you agree to house & care for that animal until he/she is adopted. Doing so creates a vacancy in the shelter or rescue for another needy animal, & it gives the foster animal a loving home, & time to be socialized, leash trained, etc. Fostering was going well until the lady at the rescue started acted like a donkey. We decided to adopt Buck & not deal with her anymore. I continued leash training Buck by taking him for walks, & he ran 5Ks with me for a long time. 

Buck & me after a patriotic run

During these walks, we often crossed paths with our neighbor, Jimmy Earl. Jimmy Earl, Buck, & I made countless laps around the block on evening walks. When our next 5K fundraiser rolled around, I asked Jimmy Earl to be Buck’s handler at the event. He agreed, but made sure I knew that he would only do that for Buck & me since the 5K was scheduled for the opening day of turkey season. I told him I would find someone else, but he said he would be out of the woods in time. A few days before the race, Buck went missing. We found him in a bush a day or so later. He had been hit by a car & had a broken shoulder as a result. Once we knew that he was going to be ok, I teased Jimmy Earl about running over my dog so he could turkey hunt, lol. I have enjoyed telling that story many times since. 

Buck & me at the St. Jude’s event 

Buck, as hound dogs are, was very resilient. He recovered & continued to run & walk with me for years. He lived in our fenced-in back yard until this summer. This was a nice setup, though, as his quarters were marked by a sign reading “The BUCKingham Palace.” He could no longer take the heat. Buck was a really good dog who never caused trouble. He wasn’t cooperative about doing things he didn’t want to, though. If he saw nail clippers,  he prepared for war! He howled and bayed at the train & at the truck drivers as they fueled up every morning. He had a handsome voice, & received many compliments.

Buck was a character, & we have a lot of funny Buck stories, ranging from his hatred of excessive Christmas inflatables to Jason yelling a few choice words at him to stop barking at the Vacation Bible School parade that was lined up in front of our house. 

Jason started a trend on his own cheat day of bringing cheeseburgers to the outside dogs. Buck enjoyed this very much, & picked up the scent as soon as Jason opened the door. He waited anxiously at the gate for his cheeseburger. 

Buck & me at the Christmas parade 

Buck participated in Voice for the Animals Campaign events with me. He walked in a Christmas parade one year. He looked handsome, but didn’t act handsomely when it was time to go. Several grown men & I were scared to put him on the truck against his stubborn will. We ended up having to get the animal control officer to do it. Another time, we represented V4AC at a St. Jude’s coon hunting event. Buck was very sweet & handsome that day, & received lots of compliments. 

Buck & Drake in the creek

Since Buck has lived inside these last few months, he’s cracked me up, & we’ve developed a routine. Buck was very persistent about where he wanted to sit. He often tricked Trooper out of his seat. In the mornings, he reminded me of my brother. Jared could not wake up to get ready for school when we were kids, and he would drag around once he finally got up. It was the  same with Buck for a few weeks until we developed a routine. He was like clockwork after that. 

Buck lived a great life until his last evening, which was last night (9/11/21). His appetite had been dwindling, he was old & arthritic, but I didn’t expect him to go so soon. I heard him whimper & checked on him. I knew he was dying. Jason got up, & we did our best to keep him comfortable. I went to bed, but Jason stayed with him. He got me up after 1a & said that Buck was gone. 

On the couch after tricking Trooper out of his seat 

Just like Pearl, Buck is a prime example of the importance of adopting, not shopping. That little hound dog puppy who was thrown away by someone else made his way to our house and into our family & hearts. We will miss Buck very much, but reflecting on his life makes me proud to be an animal rescuer who sees the beauty & value of animals thrown away by others. Rest easy, Buck, we love you 😘🌈

Buck sleeping just a few days ago

The Truth about Teachers

 If you're an educator reading this, you're in for a treat, I hope. If you're a keyboard crusader hoping this is going to bash teachers, you're not (in for a treat), but please continue reading. I am officially a former teacher, but I remain a teacher for life to "my kids" and anyone who crosses my path needing a little guidance that I can provide. I started 13 years of school, but chose to end my teaching career in November of my 13th year. Since then, I've been working in sales and marketing. Although I do not miss being in the classroom, "back to school" time always causes me to reflect on my former life, students, and co-workers.  

My three years post-teaching have opened my eyes to several things. The first is that teachers are among the hardest working people you will ever know. I have never worked in healthcare, so I can't vouch for those workers, but "bodily fluids" do it for me. I know those are very special people, too. And law enforcement- heck no. I was contacted several times about working in that field. I said "thanks, but no thanks. I've had enough of dealing with people who don't follow rules." 

In addition to having been a teacher, I am a high-strung, Type A person. I am very goal-oriented and driven. I quickly realized when I entered the business world that lots of other people are not. I've been trying to figure it out, and one of the conclusions I have drawn is that teachers can't afford to be lazy- not even "bad teachers" because they are always responsible for kids. Even during their planning times, they are all ears for hallway happenings and such. They are used to eating lunch quickly in a room with hundreds of kids. They are used to not having at-will bathroom breaks, time for phone calls, etc. In the blink of an eye, foreign objects can go flying across the room, a friendly janking session can become a fight, and on and on. Teachers are always on duty with their guards up.

They are also always under a microscope. Some are more than others, too, and I don't understand that. The community is watching where they go & with whom they go, what they wear, what they do on vacation, what they drink at the restaurant, and what they post on social media. I know that it is a little different since they are teaching and influencing students, but there is no "it's none of your business, it's not hurting you" line when it comes to teachers. 

A smart teacher always has a plan and always has all bases covered. They must be prepared for any and everything. They must always have evidence with which to defend themselves. In today's world, nothing is the child's fault anymore. Everyone blames the teacher. If there's a fight in the hallway, the parents ask "where was the teacher?" You would not believe some of the things I've heard irrational parents say regarding that. What people don't understand is that teachers, for the most part, are doing what they are supposed to be doing. If kids are fighting, they don't care if a teacher is present or not. Teachers are not required to physically involve themselves in fights. I remember bracing myself to be punched by a large high school student one time toward the end. I was going to press charges for assault and make an example. That is how bad it had become. 

Here are some other things parents don't realize. One teacher doesn't teach every student in a school, and teachers sign contracts stating they will enforce the rules. I remember a precious child who once had a uniform violation. If my administrator had walked in my class and seen this, I would have been "scolded" for letting it slip. I was doing what I was supposed to. I handled it according to the policy in the handbook, which had been signed by the parent and student. The parent called me the next day and told me how "stupid" I was and that teachers are the ones who should be wearing uniforms. The parent asked if I wrote up every student who was out of uniform at the school. Moron. Of course I didn't, I only handled my students in my class. The parent thought that was unfair of me because he had seen numerous other students in the car line who were in violation of the same rule. Those students hadn't even made it in the building for their teachers to address the issues. This was earlier in my career, so I was more tactful than I am now, so I was nice, but firm. It did shake me a little, though. Then, I had to go back to class and teach as if nothing happened. I'm sure that was a great lesson! The kids were freaked out because my nerves had caused me to break out in hives and turn red for an extended period of time.  The student and I had a good rapport. The student actually apologized to me the next day for the way the parent talked to me. 

Another example is that teachers can't do anything right. I once stepped to the side with a student who yelled that I was "the b word" down the hallway. I whispered as not to embarrass the student. That child's parent started rumors about me because I "got in the child's face." Had I not done that, I would have been accused of yelling at the student in front of everyone. Teachers can't win for losing. Oh, and the really fun part about that is that I couldn't defend myself. I had to stay quiet about the incident, as all teachers do. Speaking of drive, I now have some serious drive to defend teachers and be their voices because I know they cannot. Days like that cancel 30 other good days. Everyone is talking about it- parents, kids, the community, and the microscope gets closer. 

That's enough of the bad, though. I am frequently asked if I miss it. No I do not. I treasure memories and relationships with kids and teacher friends from the good times, but I do not miss it. I am also asked if I will go back. My luck is not good enough for me to say that I will "never" do something, but if I ever teach again, it will be to prevent starvation. The kids and I who remained close stay in touch, and many of them ask me to bake them their favorite treats when they're home from college, I am invited to wedding and baby showers, I am asked to tutor, write letters of recommendation, etc. Every now and then, I'm tagged in sweet posts about teachers, or I'll get a sweet message that will absolutely make my day.

For the teachers who are burned out and wishing they were doing anything else, YOU CAN! Gosh, especially now, you can, with the shortage of qualified workers. Teachers are multi-skilled, multi-tasking, problem-solving experts. If this is you, go sell something! You've been giving sales pitches every period of your career to people who don't care. If you have an audience in sales, it's because they're interested in what you're selling. The only thing is that you are going to make enemies of those you outperform because they are lazy and you are not. That still beats being slandered by an angry parent on social media or getting a nasty email first thing in the morning. You will still have opportunities to make a difference. I blame irrational parents and school bureaucracy for teacher burnout, by the way. 

If you're a  miserable teacher who has to stay to keep insurance, for example, keep your head up. Trust me, I know how hard it is, but the way you push through is inspiring people, too. When I left, students and parents told me so. 

To the teacher critics, before you send that ugly text or email, or call the parents of the students in your child's class because you are mad about what your child probably did, remind yourself that that teacher is a person with a family and duties outside of school. That human being is not going to be perfect, but I promise they are trying to be because they do not want to give you a reason to ruin their day. I got to the point that I would tell parents in conferences the following:

"I know that staying after school for conferences is part of my job, but I would rather be off right now. We are here because of something your child did. If your child had not done it, I would not have addressed it, and I would be at home."

That may sound unprofessional to some, but I literally had to break it down like that for some folks. Let the teacher do their job. If you have a question or problem, be nice until you have a legitimate reason not to be. In a good school, the issue will be resolved, and the child who broke the rules should be the only one upset. Many times, students will know they have done wrong and walk away having learned a valuable life lesson. 

In writing that, I chuckle thinking about a child who grabbed me as if he were a cat and had to be physically removed from me by two adults. He would not let go. When he was removed from my person, his mother wanted to speak to me on the phone. She cursed at me for making him miss the bus. I kid you not. I literally could have filed assault charges, probably more. 

I know this has sounded like my list of grievances, but I just want the general public to know the kind of crap teachers deal with daily. Give them a break. Be nice. Make your kids behave, and don't defend them when they are wrong. 

Teachers are amazing people. They are too amazing for me to be anymore, lol. I got tired of it. Are there bad ones, yes, but not for the most part. The good ones are fading away because they are retiring ASAP or choosing another field like I did. Don't be the reason a good teacher quits. 

Signing off, I hope everyone has a great school year, and, again, don't be the reason a good teacher quits!

PS- I know that you're supposed to say his/her instead of they, but I got tired of typing that. You know what I mean ;) 

It's All Part of a Plan...

 

As a teacher, I didn't have favorites, but there are kids that sync with you more so than others. The kids that didn't sync with you synced with other teachers with personalities more similar to theirs, so it all works out. One of the students in the class of 2017 was a girl named Christin. Although she graduated in 2017, I was her history and current events teacher in 8th grade. Kids are really impressionable at that age. I was climbing to the peak of my running career at that time, and Christin asked me to train her. 

I live a very structured life personally, professionally, athletically, and socially. I have to in order to complete my necessary tasks. Having said that, I have never liked having workout partners because I like being on my own schedule, not waiting on people, etc. Christin lived in my town and knew my quirks. She agreed to my schedule. We started running together. In her rookie race season, she took a first place medal, whether it was the first place overall female or first place in her age group. I am still so proud of her for that. She is built to run. Running is the punishment in other sports, and this kid wanted to run. 

After 8th grade, we remained close. She faced adversity throughout her high school years, and often confided in me and looked to me for advice. Christin is the oldest of her siblings. Next under her is a brother named Gavin, and two younger sisters. I taught Gavin as well. My parents and I go to church with them. 

In January of 2020, I was preparing for a sales meeting at work, when a coworker who was unware of mine and Christin's relationship said "Danny Ray Pugh's stepson has been killed in a wreck." I do not say what I am about to say to make this about me, but to clarify the emotions. I have blogged before about losing my brother in a car accident. When I hear of other sudden deaths, particularly car accidents, I feel what that family is feeling. It is the worst thing I have ever experienced. The only thing you can do is pray that it will be better. It will be better, but only with time. The family doesn't know it at that moment, but their lives will never ever be the same. From that point on, their frame of reference for time is before that person died and after. You become a different person. Those are the things I think about. It literally makes me sick for that family. 

I remember running out of the showroom because I thought I was going to throw up, and I also wanted to scream. My GM, who was a dear friend at the time, came out to check on me. I pulled myself together and came back into the meeting. I have no idea of what was said. I was praying for the family and asking God to prepare me to talk to Christin. I also felt God telling me that this is why He put Christin in my path back in 8th grade. We were now angel sisters and connected on a whole other level. She would need me, just as I had needed other grievers when my brother died (and still do). 

After the meeting, I checked my phone. Two of Christin's teachers and my former coworkers from school had sent texts to me to "get to Christin." My former babysitter, now friend, who lost two husbands in a short period of time, also contacted me. She has been a tremendous grief mentor to me. She told me something like "this is your time." These three ladies were aware of mine and Christin's relationship and of my brother's passing. It was amazing, really. As tragic as it was, it still amazes me how God knew what was going to happen and started preparing both of us so many years ago. I believe he also put me in the minds of the ladies who told me to "get to Christin." I wasn't going to save the day, but we were close, and I have been there.

I called Christin immediately and went to see her and the family that evening. They have been incredibly strong. There is peace in knowing that Gavin was a Christian, and so is his family, so they will see him again.  

Christin just had the most beautiful baby girl a few months ago and asked me to be her godmother. Being the godmother to my godchildren is the highest honor I've ever received. I don't get to see her as much as I'd like because her mom and I have pretty much opposite working schedules, but I am so excited about watching her grow and being part of her life. Christin loves Reba, and yet, I still love Christin, lol. Obviously, I am not a fan, lol. I do, however, love the song, "Fancy, so that is my nickname for my goddaughter. I'm sure she will just love being named after a Reba song involving a roach, haha. 

Gavin and his sisters came to visit my dogs and me eight years ago today and it was in my Timehop. What special memories! It brought to mind the things I've said here and I wanted to share them with you. God has a plan for our lives. Everyone we meet, we meet for a reason. That is so amazing to me. That's why Jeremiah 29:11-13 is my life verse. 

Special thanks to Christin and her parents for being such a special part of my life and for allowing her to be. 

In loving memory of Gavin Pugh