Since my brother died*, Fall
gets me in my feels, but Spring has me that way this year. I guess it’s because
I hear the doves that he was so good at imitating, and it’s the time of year
that we crank up the lawn mowers and weed eaters we’ve been running since our legs
were long enough for our feet to reach the pedals. Turkey season always reminds
me of him, too. I love the picture of him and his lifelong friend, Ben, who
co-claimed a turkey they killed together. I also think of how Jared loved to
amputate turkey feet and pull that thing that makes the toes curl. What made
him love this, though, was my hatred and disgust of it, lol. I remember being
awakened by a dead turkey foot caressing my face one morning when we both still
lived at home. If I could have him back, I would let him do that every day! As
much as I miss him, I would never bring him back here from Heaven, though.
These weeks approaching Easter
have had me thinking a lot about Heaven, too, and our lives as Christians. I
have been angry, bitter, and a bad witness in some ways, for the last 6-8 weeks
or so. Sometimes, my bad behavior makes me hesitant to share my faith in
general or a Bible verse on social media, for example. While what I am about to
say is no excuse, on this day (Good Friday) many years ago, Jesus took the
punishment for all our sin. I love my family very much, but I can’t imagine
loving strangers enough to die for their wrongdoings- especially those who were
there killing Jesus that day and cheering them on. I also can’t imagine dying
for the people I’ve been so mad at lately, or the people in the grocery store
who get on my nerves. Just being honest.
Jared's friends, Daddy, and me at our old church on his first birthday in Heaven
As I was reflecting on Good
Friday this morning and looking at a schedule of events of that day, I started
wondering what the people and beings in Heaven do on Easter weekend. I know they
are always singing and worshipping, but surely there is a celebration. I was
specifically wondering what Jesus, my brother, and my friend Terry are doing. This
is my friend Terry’s first Easter in Heaven. Please keep his family in your
prayers, as it’s their year of firsts without him. My thoughts continued to develop
about Good Friday into how if Good Friday and Easter had not occurred, that I
would not be at peace about where Jared, Terry, and so many other loved ones are,
and about where others who are still here are going to spend eternity.
When Jesus gave His life for
us on the Cross, He took the punishment for our sin and secured a place for us
in Heaven. All we have to do is believe. I’ve said this before, but it’s
definitely worth saying again. The night Jared died, as soon as I could
function, I was like “Jared is in Heaven.” I said that to my dad, and he said “I
know.” I don’t know how lost people deal with death, knowing they will not see Jesus
and their loved ones again. Not only will we see Jared again, but we have a
relationship with Jesus. We will see Jesus, too, and we have Him to equip us
with all that we need until we get there. I look back on how big of a donkey I’ve
been for the last few weeks. Jesus forgives me for my sins when I ask Him, and
I’m not losing my place in Heaven. He still loves me, too. I don’t deserve any
of that.
My reflections from the
morning and time leading up to today are these: 1. Jesus took the punishment for
my sins. I am still going to sin, but I am going to try to be more conscious of
it. When faced with the choice of sin, we always have an out. Sin will never be
our only choice. I am going to try to think of my sin inflicting pain on Jesus
as it did on Good Friday. I am also going to remember who I represent. 2. I want
people to know about my third paragraph so they will know just how important it
is to accept Jesus as your Savior. Being raised in church, I have always known
this, but I experienced first-hand that life can be taken in the blink of an
eye. I experienced the comfort and peace that come with salvation. My brother
didn’t get a second chance. If he had not been a Christian, he would be in
Hell, and we would never see him again. I don’t think I would’ve emotionally survived
that. If you’re reading this you have that chance.
I love this! It's just how I picture it, too!
“For God so
loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in
Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” -John 3:16
"Midnight Cry" by Gold City
*My brother, Jared, died in a
car accident at the age of 29 in October of 2014.
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