I am so glad to be out of my twenties and early years of marriage so I don't have to hear as many out of line comments and questions about my choice to be child free. Being a DINK (dual income, no kids) is another quality that makes me different, especially in the rural South. Now, I just laugh and take long, undisturbed naps in my clean house (chuckle).
My brother and I were among the youngest in a generation of 17 great-grandchildren, so we never really were around younger cousins to babysit. I guess that's one of the many reasons I don't enjoy being around young children. I don't mean this article to be offensive to anyone, I'm just being honest.
I remember my dad telling me many times, even as a child, that I will never have any kids because I don't like getting my hands dirty. He didn't mean that in a bad way, he was just telling the truth. And he was right. I have a weak stomach, and I'm what he calls "nasty nice." I will get my hands dirty working in the yard or detailing a car, but never by sticking my hands into cold, cloudy dishwater where a swollen noodle or chunk of mystery meat could be lurking. Expect me to gag if I smell ketchup, or God forbid, it were to touch me! Bodily fluids on my skin or anything I may ever have to touch are just not going to happen for me, not without a heave anyway. People say "it's different when it's your own," but I've talked to moms who can't deal with vomit. I feel ya, sister!
Then, there's the noise. Hearing children cry, scream, and/or whine is not something I can deal with. The "nasty-niceness" and dislike for noises are textbook sensory issues on my part. The rest is my choice and the way God made me. I know that some religious beliefs teach that you're supposed to have kids. I respect that, but I do not share that belief. Why would I do something, especially as permanent and life changing, just because people "think you're supposed to." I love animals, but I don't think everyone should have them. I've been called selfish as a result of my choice. To whom am I being selfish? Someone who doesn't exist? I also read a Facebook post where the person said, in a nutshell, that people who choose to not have children, yet choose to love animals, must not be saved because there are children in orphanages needing to be adopted. Absolutely ridiculous. I must've missed that (nonexistent) verse in the Bible, just as the person missed John 3:16.
I'm not a preacher by any stretch, but God put the animals in our care. I know they were sacrificed in the Old Testament and have always been eaten, but I believe they should be treated with respect. I will talk about my God-given love for animals in another article. I know that God has a plan for each of us. I believe that I am the way I am because He needed someone to love animals and be their voice. I believe that people who feel strongly about causes were either born with that passion or developed it through a life experience. It takes people like us to take a stand and raise awareness for our causes.
It blew people's minds that I was a teacher who "doesn't like kids." What many of those people didn't know is that I was a secondary teacher, which means I was certified to teach 6th-12th grades. Those kids are self-sufficient and they don't cry loudly. They are old enough to take care of themselves at school, but still young enough to need a positive adult in their lives. 8th grade was my all-time favorite. Many of those kids and I formed life-long bonds. I have countless teacher friends who are also moms, and excel in both roles. I believe, though, that just as God gave me a love for animals, that He gave me a love for middle and high school kids who needed a mentor. What I am about to say is in no way a pat on my own back, but an example to make my point. Some of the kids I mentored never had anyone show up at their athletic events to watch them or give them good luck gifts on try-out day. Parents, many times, don't have time & resources for other kids because they are busy with their own. Understandable. I think that's why God made people like me. Even though my students knew I wasn't a "little kid person," they knew I loved them and still do! Renowned educator, the late Rita Pierson, summed up my thoughts in her quote which follows: "Every child deserves a champion- an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection, and insists that they become they best that they can possibly be."
As Mother's Day approaches, it doesn't bother me a bit to not be in the recognized group. I celebrate my own mom and other special ladies in my life. I also think about how blessed I am to have a family who supports my decision, the love I have for my pets, and the special former students in my life.
In closing, it rattles me a bit to talk about this, so I hope it didn't come across negatively. I just want people to see it from the perspective of a unique DINK.
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