I Wear Red for My Grandfathers

 My second experience losing a grandparent to heart disease was less than a year after the first. It was my maternal grandfather, Donald Hicks. We called him Pa, like Opie Taylor called Andy. When I think of Pa, I think of gardening, five-dollar bills, parched peanuts, softball games, and a forked twig on a smokehouse.

My mom's dad, Bro. Donald Hicks

My mom’s parents lived in Grove Hill, about 15 minutes away, so Jared and I didn’t spend as much time there as we did our other grandmothers who lived a rock’s throw away. In hindsight, I see that my maternal grandmother, Mema (Mee-maw), and I have a lot of similarities. She was a teacher, and we always did cool things at when we were there. Most of them involved learning. She was into herbs and healthy eating, too. It seems like Pa was always working in his garden. He was retired from ALDOT, but he was also a pastor. I was a small child when he was still preaching, but I’ve heard numerous people say that he could quote more scripture than anyone they’ve ever known. In his younger years, he was an award-winning fiddler.

Mema and Pa always came to visit us on our birthdays. If it wasn’t your birthday, Pa still gave you a five-dollar bill. I always thought that was cool. He also parched the most delicious peanuts. I don’t know if I’ve had any since he died. Pa had a smokehouse in his backyard. He kept it closed with a small twig that was forked on the end. I can still picture it. After he died and my grandmother moved to an assisted living facility, my brother moved into their house. He and I looked all over for that twig, but we never found it. It would be neat to have. Pa came to most of my home softball games. He would come walking up wearing a trucker hat and carrying a lawn chair. I was always happy to see him.

One Friday afternoon of my freshman year in college, I had just come home for the weekend. We were called to the ER in Grove Hill because Pa was found slumped over in his carport. I think he had already passed when the ambulance arrived. He had suffered a massive heart attack. Pa requested a small service. We had a visitation and graveside service, where we sang Amazing Grace. Pa was a simple man. He would have liked it.

My dad's dad, Scott Clemens

I never had a chance to meet my paternal grandfather. His name was Scott Clemens. He was born in Scottsboro, AL, in 1931, but he lived most of his life in Fairhope. In school, he was the president of the 4H Club, and voted “Most Witty.” That explains a lot! Anyone who knows my dad knows that that apple didn’t fall far from the tree, and I often have irresistible urges to “pull people’s legs.”

After high school, he joined the US Navy and fought on an aircraft carrier during the Korean War. He was a member of the National Guard when he passed. He was athletic, played softball, and coached baseball for his kids. He worked as the superintendent over the natural gas department for the City of Fairhope.

He died in 1991 at the age of 59 from an aortic aneurysm. This is not considered heart disease, but vascular disease. Sometimes the two are lumped together. He smoked and drank for most of his adult life, and the AHA lists those as factors contributing to aortic aneurysms. See the link attached for more information.

Even though no one in my immediate family had the privilege of meeting him, we did get to meet my dad’s youngest brother when I was in college. His name is also Scott, and we are close to him and his wonderful family. They have been and continue to be such blessings to us. Scott is closer to my age than he is my dad’s, and we share a common love of fitness. Scott’s mother, who was married to my grandfather, identified many similarities in my dad and “the Scotts.” They obviously look alike, and she said they have the same mannerisms. My dad writes in all caps, and she said Scott did, too. Genes are strong. Having said that, since 3 of my grandparents died of heart-related conditions, I want to do all I can to keep my heart as healthy as possible. I wear red for my grandfathers, Donald (Pa) and Scott.

L-R: My uncle Scott Clemens, me, my dad

 Aortic Aneurysm Information from the American Heart Association 

I Wear Red for My Friend Terry

 With the exception of my grandmother, the most shocking loss to a heart attack is that of my friend, Terry. It is also the most recent. It is for this reason that I will not post pictures of him because I do not want to cause a grief wave for his family. 

I have known Terry and his family all my life, but it wasn't until the last five years or so that we joined the church where he served as chairman of deacons and became close. His daughter is also one of my best friends. Until my two-ish year church hiatus, I saw him at least once a week, sometimes twice. My husband, Jason, doesn't go to church, but he met Terry at a men's wild game supper once. They became friends, and we are both so thankful. Jason is very peculiar and anti-social, but he always welcomed Terry's texts and calls. We were both shocked and devastated when we learned that he had passed. 

Terry was special. He was wise and witty. The first image in this article is the end of a witty quote of his. It's appropriate, of course, but it's not "PC," either. It is, however, hilarious. He would randomly call or text to see how things were going and to wish me a good day. He became someone I trusted, confided in, and consulted for advice. He's been gone about six months or so, and I still find myself wishing I could call him and tell him something, vent to him, ask for his advice, and ask him to pray for me. He was also one in a handful of people I never wanted to disappoint. For example, if I was about to post something questionable, I would ask myself, "what would Terry think if he saw that?" That was all it took. 

During the month before he passed, his daughter-in-law and I worked an event together. He was our courier, so-to-speak, and would take event materials back and forth between us. He and I lived close by, and he worked with his son who is married to this particular lady. I would meet him on my way to work and on his way to take his grandsons to school. We met at the bank in town, and I would joke with him that the nosy folks in town were going to start rumors about us, lol. I usually don't keep texts in my phone long, but I'm so thankful I kept his longer than usual because I still have them. Some of them are our last words to speak to one another. 

My immediate family has always made sure that the last thing we say is "I love you." I've always taken it seriously, but even more so after my brother's sudden, tragic death. Terry and I didn't tell each other that, but I say this so families will understand the importance. Terry and I had no idea that would be the last time we would see each other this side of Heaven. We left with a smile and a "have a good day." 

I can't imagine how hard life is for his family without him. He was my friend, not my father, grandfather, or husband, and I know how much I miss him. Terry was an active, hardworking man. I don't know about his eating and exercise habits, but he didn't drink or smoke. Regardless, a heart attack stole him from those who love him. I wear red for my friend Terry. 

I Wear Red for My Nanny, Joan Hudson Daniels

 

My first loss to heart disease was my paternal grandmother, Joan Hudson Daniels. My brother and I called her “Nanny.” She was a single parent to her only child, which is my dad. She loved the three of us more than anything. During the time I knew her, she worked as a seamstress. She lived across the road from us with her mother. We called her, Gaugy. Since we lived so close, we spent a lot of time with them. We stayed there during the summers and after school, and whenever we wanted to go visit and spend the night.

Some of the things I remember most about my childhood there are watching cartoons, shelling peas, playing dominos, eating the most delicious caramel cake (and other kinds) ever baked, riding bikes, playing with Hot Wheels and paper dolls, going to cemeteries, watching Saved By the Bell, The Brady Bunch, and CMT, going in for a huge lunch spread when Scotch’s whistle blew and Daddy came home, and much more. It was a wonderful life, and the only thing I would do differently is take Nanny and Gaugy to the Fountain of Youth.

During my 5^th grade year, Gaugy got cancer and moved to Grove Hill to live with my great aunt. She died there a few months later right after Christmas. By this time, Nanny had bought a house two doors down from us in the other direction. Although we missed Gaugy very much, Jared and I had fun exploring this new house and yard. Nanny also got a Sheltie dog named Daisy. She was a sweet dog. By this time, we were getting older and didn’t play as much, but we still spent a lot of time at Nanny’s. She cooked a delicious lunch every Sunday. She loved all holidays.

Nanny made the most beautiful Easter eggs I have ever seen. They had the deepest colors. I wish I had learned how she did it. We always had egg hunts. She bought Jared and me fancy wooden Easter baskets when we were kids. Mine has a rabbit and his has a duck. I still have them, and they are all the more special now that he is in Heaven with her.

Christmas was her time to shine, though. Nanny and Gaugy were excellent cooks. Nanny made the best fudge, divinity, and chocolate pie I have ever eaten. She had a million lights on her medium-sized Christmas tree. We celebrated Christmas Eve at her house every year after Gaugy died, and she spoiled us all. During the holidays of 1999, she had our gifts wrapped and placed under the tree. Her Christmas goodies, including the fudge and divinity, which lived up to its name, were in the kitchen.

December 18^th was a Saturday that year. I spent most of the day at a friend’s house a few miles away. I was a senior in high school. I got home, and only my mom was there, which was unusual. She said that my dad and Jared had taken Nanny to the hospital because they thought she was having a heart attack. I understood the seriousness of the matter, but it never occurred to me that we might be coming home without her. I got to the hospital and Daddy and Jared were there. I don’t remember all the details, but I caught a glimpse of her by mistake. She looked to be sleeping, but was purple. Daddy said that she was gone. When they arrived, the staff got her situated, and he and Jared were going to complete the paperwork. She gasped and they saw her take her last breath. I think he said they worked on her for an hour.

I drove my car to the hospital, but I rode home in Nanny’s car with Jared and Daddy. Her purse was there. Nanny had a lot of good friends. We had cell phones at this time, but they were not used as they are now. I got to her house and called her best friends to tell them. I remember not believing what I was saying. We went back to my house, and people were there for days. I would pick up the phone to call her and catch myself almost walking to her house. She was a huge part of our lives, and she was gone in an instant.

She died exactly one week before Christmas. On Christmas Eve, we went to her house as usual. It was very sad. We opened our gifts from her and ate the goodies she had prepared. The next morning, her sister made us a breakfast dish. Her other sister gave us a poem called “My First Christmas In Heaven.” Those are the main things I remember about that Christmas.

 I know it was especially hard on my dad, but he handled it like a champ. The second semester of senior year flies by. Mine did, and it kept me busy, but it was sad that she wasn’t there for softball, prom, and graduation. For my softball tournaments, she would fry chicken and make other really good food for us to take. Looking back, I wish I had appreciated that more.

She was “extra,” and people tell me that I am the same way. If she were still here, I know that she would be my best friend. She would be my #1 supporter in my extra curriculars. If I ever needed someone to do something with, I know it would be her. She would love my husband, Jason, and I know they would embarrass me by laughing at inappropriate things and thinking it was funny that I was embarrassed, lol.

Nanny was very active and not overweight, but she didn’t exercise or eat right. She also smoked a lot and used ladles of grease to season her food. It was sooo good, though. I was a kid during the time I knew her, so I really don’t know if she went to the doctor regularly and kept a check on her numbers. I do know, however, that her diet, smoking, and lack of exercise contributed to her heart attack.

Nanny when she danced competitively 

I don’t have children or grandchildren like she did, but I have family, friends, animals, and former students that I love very much. There are things I want to do and people and animals I want to help before I am gone. God may have plans for a truck to hit me tomorrow, but at least I will have a healthy heart, and I will have done all I can to have taken care of my body so I can use it for myself and for others.  

Times were different when my grandmother was coming up. More people smoked and less was known about the dangers of it. More people cooked with grease, too. If she had it to do over again, I am confident that she would choose to be heart healthy, not for herself, but for us. Since she is not here to do it, I am doing it for her. I wear red for my Nanny, Joan Hudson Daniels 9/15/35-12/18/99

How Heart Disease Stole My Loved Ones and Changed My Life

 If one of your parents had to have heart disease, which would it be? What a horrible question! When you look at statistics from the American Heart Association, though, 48% of American adults have cardiovascular disease. It is the number one cause of death in the US, and stroke takes fifth place. While I am still fortunate enough to have both parents, I can’t say the same about my grandparents. Before the end of my first semester in college, three of my grandparents had succumbed to heart attacks. When I saw this family pattern and learned ways to “get heart healthy,” it was a no-brainer for me.

Although I have always been an athlete, staying fit was no longer something to do for fun, it was necessary for survival. I took a PE class every semester in college (which also helped my GPA, lol), and I also took advantage of the free exercise classes at the student rec center. Before graduating from college, I met my now-husband, who is a US Marine and former competitive body builder. We started running and training together, and I have been hooked ever since. He also started me on the path of healthy eating, and I self-taught (via reading) from there. I cannot imagine life out of shape or out of the gym.

Every February, the American Heart Association uses the month to raise funds and awareness for “Heart Month.” It is a special cause to me because I want to tell people how heart disease stole my grandparents from my family, and how one can possibly prolong their lives by “getting heart healthy.” Throughout the month, I will blog about each of my grandparents and a special friend who fell victim to this number one killer. 

Reference Article above ^^^

American Heart Association

Wear Red Day